3 Myths About Dysfunction That Keep You STUCK
If you’re anything like me, at one point in your life dysfunction has served some sort of role in your life. Maybe for a short while, or maybe it’s still a struggle. Whatever role dysfunction has played in your life, our dysfunction doesn’t disqualify us, make us incompetent or inadequate, it makes us human. We all have had dysfunction in our lives and most of us probably still do. But that doesn’t mean we are less than or unable to still be used by God in a mighty way.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve had so much dysfunction in my life, I could write a book about it. Growing up when we had problems we didn’t really talk about them. God and good counselors have helped me so much in my journey in learning how to deal with my problems in a healthier way. I actually didn’t know I had developed an unhealthy coping mechanism of codependency as a way to get my needs met. I was very dependent on people to receive my approval, praise, and worthiness.
‘For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.’ Galatians 1:10
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At one point I was a big time people pleaser. I also felt very validated if I could rescue, fix, or solve someone else’s problems, because then I didn’t have to focus on my own problems. Along the way I found some eye opening discoveries about my dysfunction that kept me stuck in my circumstances. Here are 3 myths about my dysfunction I would like to share with you.
3 Myths About Dysfunction That Keep You STUCK:
MYTH #1–Dysfunction is functional- This is very true for someone who lives in dysfunction. Dysfunction serves us all well until it doesn’t. In fact, sometimes we don’t even realize something is dysfunctional in our lives, until it is no longer functional! The enemy would like nothing more than to keep us hidden in our patterns of dysfunction and tell us these patterns are totally NORMAL. These patterns keep us stuck and hidden from God’s plan for us.
Dysfunction keeps us in chaos, making it hard to hear God’s voice and plan over our lives. It’s not until dysfunction starts crumbling all around us and we slowly get out of the chaos can we hear and see more clearly, that dysfunction does not serve us well over time.
Over time, dysfunction can become very comfortable for us, making it difficult to detach from it because it’s what we know. Learning how to separate from your dysfunction can be one of the most loving things you do for yourself.
Detaching from the chaos will help one learn healthier ways to deal with problems instead of reverting back to unhealthy dysfunctional patterns. Letting go of codependency or dysfunctional patterns may feel overwhelming at first, but this is the first step in allowing God to refine and renew us for His eternal plans.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
MYTH #2–Dysfunction is Absent from my life. Can we say denial? The absence of dysfunction doesn’t mean dysfunction is absent. I’ll never forget a forensics file episode I watched. The detective said, ‘the absence of evidence, doesn’t mean that evidence is absent.’ That statement was so profound to me–just because we don’t see the evidence doesn’t mean someone didn’t try to wipe away or clean up the evidence.
Trying to get rid of evidence doesn’t negate a crime happened. Just like our lives, we can become really good at hiding and ‘cleaning up the crime scene,’ to look really good on the outside but that doesn’t mean dysfunction isn’t still lying underneath the surface.
We can fake it till we make it all we want, but that doesn’t mean our dysfunctional problems will go away if we don’t address them! Just because we can’t see or recognize our dysfunction, doesn’t mean it’s not there. The enemy uses dysfunction in our lives to keep us blind and deaf, to not really see or hear God clearly. This is why it’s so important to stay close to God. Draw near to Him by reading the Bible and praying. Knowing what His truth is will set us free every time.
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
MYTH #3–I’m too dysfunctional to be helped- This couldn’t be further from the truth. If this were true, Jesus would have never came and died on the cross for us. No one is ever too dysfunctional to receive mercy and forgiveness from our Savior. Sometimes we can feel so overwhelmed in our dysfunction, that we don’t even know where to begin, and think why bother it will never get better.
This is a lie the enemy would like us to believe, that we are hopeless, not worth rescuing or saving, that we will never be good enough. It may be true we have dysfunction and make mistakes, but what we do isn’t who we are. Our dysfunction is an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus. Our dependence in Him in what He’s able to do, helps us rely on His strength, not our own and trusts He is able.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
Stepping into a place of vulnerability where our dysfunction is revealed can be a scary place to be! Because that means we have to deal with ourselves and may have to do a lot of work to unravel the mess. There is no one else I’d rather unravel my mess and peel back the layers of dysfunction with than Jesus. He knows how to refine, restore, and renew me.
When we allow Jesus into our messes and dysfunction we become crucified in Him. It is no longer us who lives, but Him who lives in us. You are loved, friend!
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Are there dysfunctional patterns that have served you well?
How has dysfunction kept you stuck?
What is one action step you can take today that steps out of dysfunction into God’s presence?
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